10 Days of Complete Madness

Ten Days of Complete Madness

Well I look back to year 2000-2004, the rat race years of my life and then I look to three years of bliss 2004-2007, I am just astonished with the amount of madness in the way. Well, sleepless nights and cram-out days are just a part of this 12 month MBA at VGSOM. Well, everybody seems to be counting days and finally the day on which they will move out of here. But there is just one little problem. There is an exam in between which perhaps everyone overlooked. Running on an overdose of caffeine it seems that this has become a norm altogether. But none the less, it is fructifying into a successful career. The nights at the night canteen and the cursing if it is closed and then blaming the system altogether. Then picking up our bicycles to go to LLR or the Veggies to get a cup of tea to survive the night, well it has become a daily duty. Then pushing up the laptop lids to find out what music we used to hear, and it seems a long time back that the music hit our ears. The back breaking schedule is actually rewinding my thoughts back to the years in which I was a part of the student community. Soon we will be out of it. I guess it happens, I'll miss these sleepless days in coming years.

Two Steps Behind.........

Two Steps Behind

This is one song that I am very fond of. In fact this was the same song that brought the one I love a lot closer to me because she understood that this fool is actually a guy who is able to make out even the smallest of tears that rolls down her cheek, the smallest smile she gives in anticipation, the smallest word she speaks in hope of trust and the smallest touch she expects from me. I say that I'll always be two steps behind, but now I'll be just beside her, I know I have earned that place beside her. I am happy that after days now, she has started trusting me. "But we still have a long way to go", she says, but at the same time, she dreams of the beautiful days that are ahead of us. She leaned onto my shoulder and made me the happiest man in this world. She smiled when I said "I Love You!", and she made me feel the world in all its beauty. She translated her feeling onto a beautiful card and compiled all my thoughts and made it straight to my heart. She is my sweet chocolate pudding. She is the one I love, and now jaan, I won't be two steps behind anymore, I am there beside you and you shall she that this fool will never leave that spot, it is something I got after a long wait.

Ashes

About Her - A Bit in Detail

Never in my dreams I had thought that I would meet someone so perfectly made for me. She is perfect because she is made to be perfect. All these years, where was she hiding, I am just wondering that. Well now since I have described her physically and also described a bit of her inner emotions, I shall go ahead with a bit more than the usual. All these days of talking to her has made me realize a few things, which are nothing out of the box but they are bound to be important. So here we go...

=> She is someone who loves attention but hates too much attention. She likes to be the centerstage of a discussion, but if it goes overhead she makes for the exit door immediately. Sort of nice idea isn't it. She is typically different from other girls because she can make out when someone is flattering her and when someone is actually telling a truth. In fact she has been catching my flattering perfectly (:P)

=> She likes hearing me, and I am surprised. She is a patient listener and quite patient with the overtalker like me. I speak too much when I am on phone because I am too impatient. But in front of her I just go mum because I cannot take my eyes off her. She is so beautiful.

=> She loves being with few people who give her full attention and specially people who do not wander away. Jaan, I might have been a wanderer, but I am like you only, if I have come close to you, I will never ever leave you, neither I am going to let you wander off.

=> She is a wanderer herself, always in look out for the wackiest things and loveliest times.

=> She is impatient ("Well Sorry Jaan" -> You'll say this is an easy guess (:P) )

=> She waits for people to say that they love her, but will not wait if she feels that this is the right guy. She held me tightly and I, in my all dreams wanted someone to do that.

=> She can really make people comfortable with her, but if they do not understand her completely, she might get turned off and remain turned off to these people for long time.

=> She depends for things and decisions, somehow thinks collectively about decisions. Jaan I ask you to take decisions for me, but I too will make it a collective decision in the end.

=> She doesn't like being bossed around and likes doing the work her way.

=> She is dedicated and if something is assigned to her it goes till the end with her dedication. Also if someone criticizes she might be perturbed but she goes back and gives that criticism a second thought almost always. I mean to say - "Why is this guy/gal criticizing me? Is he right? If he is wrong shall I confront him or let him go? Shall I ask Ashish about this? I will ask Ashish and then we both will take a decision..." Correct me if I am wrong jaan.

=> She loves whatever she possesses and hates it when it goes missing or if it is broken.

=> She can be really very possessive about me and I can be really possessive about her. I am made for her only and I know she is for my love and my life.

=> She hates it when I go onto tangents and loves my weird, stupid self... Well she is taking time, but soon will realize that "Ashish" has to be treated as a kid many times, and he can treat her like a kid also. You also like being treated like a kid. You want to be naughty at times, fidgety at times, and really very kiddish at times. And you take your opportunities to do that. You are not always kiddy, but you seek the opportunity.

I'll write more about her ...

I Love You... Love You a Lot... Love You my Life...

Ashes

Tak Bisakah

The Lyrics that really touch your heart - Hats off to Peterpan

Tak Bisakah Hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu Selalu s'lalu dalam hatiku Ku melangkah sejauh apapun itu Selalu kau didalam hatiku Ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu Berharap temukan sisa hatimu Mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu Mengerti kau didalam hatiku Tak bisakah kau menungguku Hingga nanti tetap menunggu Tak bisakah kau menuntunku Menemani dalam hidupku Ku berjalan-berjalan memutar waktu Berharap temukan sisa hatimu Mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu Mengerti kau didalam hatiku Dara kau menjadi hidupku Kemana kau tau isi hatiku Tunggu sejenak aku disitu Jalanku jalan menemukanmu Tak bisakah kau menungguku Hingga nanti tetap menunggu Tak bisakah kau menuntunku Menemani dalam hidupku

Can't you? My heart is unsure, yet I still think of you Always always in my heart No matter how far I walk Always, you're in my heart I took a stroll, turns back the time Hoping to find the remains of your heart Please understand that I want you Understand that you're in my heart Can't you wait for me Until later on still waiting Can’t you be my guide Accompany me in my life I took a stroll, turning back the time Hoping to find the remains of your heart Please understand that I want you Understand that you're in my heart Girl, you have become my life Where, you know what's in my heart Wait for me for a moment there The path I walk will lead me to you Can't you wait for me Until later on still waiting Can’t you be my guide Accompany me in my life

The Lyrics above by Peterpan as an OST for the movie "Alexandria" touched my heart. Though badly plagiarized for the hindi song "Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai", the original lyrics are much more beautiful and Peterpan immortalizes the same with his excellent string work and an amazing voice.

The movie's sequence reminds me of my older days when I used to be so introverted to express my feelings that every time I fell into the trap of my own heart to realize that the roses in my hands have turned into dust and fallen into the grave of my own feelings. I have lived with this ever since. Time after time, day after day and year after year, the stories got repeated and I grew tired of my own emotions and thought of burying them altogether. But perhaps it was not to happen. I found love in the most unusual way. Unusual because I am never like this. It took me 15 minutes to understand my feelings and just 2 days to express them and not 2 years like before. I am happy I did it. It hurts if you keep things to yourself. Let the emotions flow like a river, don't contain it. Containing it hurts and becomes a stinking pool of water of no use. Water you cannot even throw away. The reality is that this time I wanted the roses in my hands to remain roses and not turn into dust. I could have sung this song 2 years back, but I believe that the happiness in my life today, doesn't ask for it.

So my suggestion to all you guys and gals in love -- "Do not waste time in making your mind if you are really in love, time slips very quickly, so make the person in front of you realize your emotions as soon as possible!"

Girls cannot explain, it is a guys job to take the first step. So guys make sure you do not let the girl you love fly away and later regret for it....

And here is the Hindi Version "Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai!" - Somehow Enjoyable

Ashes

Raju Guide Explored

The 1960s classic movie "Guide" starring Dev Anand and Waheeda Rehman is by far my all time best movie. The movie in itself is a masterpiece by Vijay Anand. They immortalized the relationship between a man and a woman beyond marriage and social obligations, which is a big thing in India still today. The movie setting is very charming, the choice of colors and the locations. In 1965 Bollywood was not that rich as today. But they still managed to dramaticize the whole sequence in the most pristine way. Ahead of its time and can still be watched by millions and these millions will be glued to their seats.

The movie starts with Raju Guide coming out of jail and sees a sign post towards Anjanpur "his city" and the song "Wahan Kaun hai Tera" (Who is there for you?) plays. It sets the mode of the movie.

Watch the song on Youtube

This takes our hero out on a journey. The journey of Raju Guide Begins...

I shall write in subsequent posts. --> do watch the movie....

The Sacred Heart

Everytime I speak of heart, my heart is the one which makes me realize that the pureness is from within. Breaking a heart is a sin. I have been somewhat a aloof person, who always thought someone broke my heart. But then I realized it is me only who is responsible for it. So why am I cursing others. It is a crime to curse others for your own crimes. And I am becoming more and more criminal. I found the same with one I am in love with. She too has gone through a bad patch like me. Somewhat similar stories. We came closer because we thought in the same way. We kept on pulling ourselves down and when we came face to face with each other we both realized that if we are together, then we can climb this rickety ladder of life much easily because we will be looking out for each other. In our relationships we both found that we are at the receiving end. Time changed me, time has changed her too. We both evolved in the same way and that is why I think that we both reciprocate to each other well. There will be disagreements but I believe that if we both work together they can be solved easily and maturely. And I have full faith in her abilities of understanding me.

She has a Sacred Heart which is pure...

Love You Jaan...

The 4 days of Life

I cannot recall many days in which I have been happy but I can surely recall the 4 days I was with the one with whom I fell in love. I have no words to describe her, and I intend to do it here. It seems a impossible task but I can surely try.

She is a pretty girl with whom you talk, you'll very soon realize that she is in fact a very mature woman and not a girl. Amazing, because same is said about me. She is soft and tender by nature, but I know that she can be strong willed as well. "It all depends on situations", she says, I agree to it. Perhaps a stoned guy like me who has emotions which are deeply buried she is a big surprise. She is an image of me, this makes me very satisfied. I always searched for my life partner to be similar in thoughts and action. She has astonished me with her similarities to me. Her tastes and likings too match with those of mine. Well, on the counterpart, she is an artist and I am a methodical engineer. There is the only difference here.

The question I always ask myself is that "How did I fall in love with this gorgeous and wonderful girl?". And don't want to answer this question because I don't want to find reasons in this. She is the right one, and one and only one. The day I first talked to her, I felt an urge to get closer to her. And she gave me the "Yes" I was so eagerly waiting for. I just can't stop thanking her for this. But as it is said, in Love there is no thankfulness and there are no apologies, because me and her are now one unit, so whom am I thanking to. I'll be saying "Sorry" and "Thank You" to myself, which makes no sense. Rather than words, her eyes and her beautiful face shall describe her feelings. I caught her feelings and she appreciated it, and she is making me happiest person in this world by letting me be myself.

Now I shall describe her. Hmm.... well it is not a difficult task, but choice of words is extremely important. She stands tall enough to cross over my shoulders and has got Venus's blessing in her figure. Has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Her eyes are deep and very contemplative, something very similar to mine. Her hands are soft and very petit. She has this most descriptive faces, thus, you can immediately notice emotions. She is impatient for me :P. Well that's good, I have gone to the heights of desperation for her. But this wait I hope doesn't kill me. The day I held her hands I realized how much caring she can be. She pulled me around so that I am not a roadkill. I have always been sensitive and concious of girls touching me, but she made me absolutely confortable. This was again a surprise for me. I hope I turn out to be the one who would never make her cry and if she cries, I'll be there to wipe off her sadness. She looks good only when she is smiling or laughing. She somewhat talks like me, it fascinates me because if we are a couple, people will be amazed how similarly we think.

Now to the Chennai part...
Those 4 days were the most beautiful days of my life. We went around and very quickly came near to each other. Everytime I think of relationships, it took me gross number of days to fit in, and then I fitted out, because nothing worked well. She was different, it was the most smooth transition into Love and I am happy she is the one to help me. The second day I held her hands and immediately came to realize "Oh Man she is so soft and tender! And I am like a rocky hard rough and tough guy!" Well I was a little afraid that she is not hurt, but she liked the warmth of my hands. And from third day, I was unable to let her hands go off mine. She is very soothingly soft. She is afraid of blood and look at me, dozens of accidents, broken legs, hands, bruised body and what not. But I know, if I will be strong, she will grow strong with me. That is the beauty of it. She is looking for a support and I know that. My will power is a major thing in our relationship. She has a tendency of falling over for support, which I very soon realized in my 4 days stay. And I am happy to be that man.

"Don't you worry jaan, just keep your patience and pray for us... I'll take you away soon, but we have to keep patience, and let the storm come if there is any, I've the outworldly courage to fight and survive it, if you are with me..."

I Love Her, and I am Happy that I found the Right Person...